Living With Chronic Pain



By, A Friend On Facebook

Pain usually dictates what I can do each day. Can I take a shower? Make the bed? Cook a meal or do I resort to frozen dinners? Can I play with my grandchildren outside or do we do color and story time again? Can I go to the store or do I say “tomorrow” for the third day in row?

It isn’t a matter of mind over matter. No matter how much I want, I can’t force my legs to work or bear weight. I can’t stop the nausea from wracking my body or stop tears from my eyes. We see people doing amazing things despite illnesses. And that is awesome. Seriously. I am ecstatic for them.

But as great and celebrated as those stories are and should be, it doesn’t mean every person can do that. Not because want. Not because desire but because not every disease allows it. Not every body can support it.

It’s important for not only society but friends and family realize that us saying no to certain outings or saying hey I can’t go to the movies after the mall isn’t a cop out. It’s truth. It’s our reality. We have stronger awareness of our limitations.

What may leave you tired, may leave us exhausted. What leaves you needing a hot bath, leaves us in bed rest for days. What leaves you fatigued, can land us in the hospital.

Our never ending reality is one full of careful calculations and often times risk. Because we want that few hours of “normalcy” so we push and risk when we shouldn’t. Bear with us and be patient. We are doing the best we can.


I thought that it was important to share this with everyone because not everyone understands what it’s like to live with chonic pain. I for one live with this condition myself, and want people to be aware of what it’s like for people whom experience this condition. Many just don’t understand what it’s like to wake up, go through out the day, and go to bed and try to sleep all while in pain.


Family isn’t always blood

All I have ever wanted in life is a family. Brothers and sisters to look out for me. Parents that were proud of me. A husband that i can spend my life with. I mastered the husband part. The family part has been rocky. I no longer have contact with my father. Due to my depression and anxiety, I just felt that it was too toxic to have a father that added to my mental instability. I have one blood brother and although things are OK at the moment, we have never had a strong relationship.

I’ve had many people come and go in my life, and make promises they just couldn’t keep. Almost a year ago I met a friend online that has been more of a brother to me from far away, then my blood brother. I know your asking yourself how could someone you never met be like family. I will tell you how. To have someone care about you on a daily basis. To show concern and worry when you haven’t called or woken up at a certain time. To want to spend time laughing and just talking about the day to day events that go on in our lives. He has given me these things and so much more. I can honestly feel that he cares about me and my well being. It’s a great feeling. I only hope that he knows how grateful I am for his love, friendship, and the role he plays in my life. Although I struggle daily with my mental demons, I can honestly say I’m happy and very blessed. I feel like God has blessed me.

Liberals & Hitler

Many of the liberal ideologies that many of the Democrats and other Liberals have been preaching for years just doesn’t work. It’s immoral even by their standards. The amusing thing is that they don’t recognize it for they feel that they are righteous and right because they’re better than conservatives.

Personally, I just don’t see the ideologies presented by the Democrats / Liberals / Progressives ever coming true. Primarily because humanity is greedy. No one will work for free… and the reasoning of ‘working for the greater good’ is a pipe dream at best.


Being a progressive / liberal doesn’t mean that you’re better than anyone else. All it proves is that you’re trying to set mankind back to the time of WWII. The NAZI party was a worker’s union before Hitler took over. And when Hitler was in power, he had many of the things that the liberals / progressives want today. In the list below, I will list all the things that Hitler had that they want.

  • Free Healthcare
  • Free Education
  • Free Housing
  • Redistribution of wealth
  • Used violence in attempt to get what they wanted
  • Made extensive use of smear propaganda
  • If you’re not apart of their beliefs / party go take a flying leap, they’re better than you.

More over, the name NAZI itself explains what their party was. Nazi is a abbreviation for The National Socialist German Workers Party (German: Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei) better known as the NSDAP or the Nazi Party.

As poet George Santayana once said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” and it’s very apparent that the liberals have forgotten.

If you don’t believe what’s in this post, perform a web search on ‘NAZI Party’. You’ll see lots of different independent, and many reputable sites saying the same thing. Socialism is socialism no matter if its Adolf Hitler implementing it or the Democrats / Liberals / Progressives.

My Biggest Gripe


My biggest gripe about living in Hawaii has to be all the liberal crybabies here whom are constantly complaining about the government and how it’s being run wrong, or they aren’t doing something that they feel that the government should be doing, etc.  If they don’t like it so much, why keep electing a person in from the same political party over and over again?  C’mon here, if one Democrat isn’t doing the job right, why elect in another?  It just doesn’t make sense.  It has nothing to do with the person, but their party.

Oh yes, let’s ban this, ban that…  When bans on things don’t work.  Why just look at the illegal narcotics.  People still get them, and use them regardless of the law.  What they should be focusing on is how to fix our homeland security, and our economy here in Hawaii.

Quite honestly, I feel that not everyone who votes has a right to complain.  It’s those who voted for a different party who wanted real change that has the right to complain.

Things I ponder


There are things that I ponder when I have nothing better to do. You may ask why do you even think about those things? My answer is: “Why not?” In this post I’m going to talk about some of the things that I ponder about.

First, I’d like to speak about relativity. When I used to ride the bus I used to always think to myself 2 different things. The first of those things is if I’m in he back of the bus that’s traveling at 25 miles per hour, and I walk to the front of the bus, does that mean I’m traveling faster than the bus? Of course, the second thing I thought about was the exact opposite. If I’m at the front of the bus and travel to the back of the bus that’s traveling 25 mph, would I be going slower than the bus?

You see, there’s no real answer to either of those questions, it’s a point of perspective really. For moving front or back of the bus technically, you’re still moving at the same speed. But, if you take into account your own personal speed and direction, it should matter as well, but not to everyone.

I’m not the only one with silly types of questions. Why, my best friend tells me that she asks herself “What’s the point all the time” but has no answer. I think in this post, I shall attempt to answer her question. If asking yourself this question in what seems like a situation that you just can’t get ahead in (like most of us do), the answer could be as simple as: because. Simple as can be no? 😛  All joking aside, this is another question with no answer. Why? Its all relative.

Another question that I ask myself often when a situation seems hopeless is, “Why me?” Again, the answer should be simple, but its not. Again its relative. Some people believe that everything happens for a reason, others feel its luck. And there’s people like me that really doesn’t know because neither really applies to logic.

Relativity takes more part in our lives than many think. Everything that we do is 90% mental. Its been clinically proven that just your own thoughts are enough to discourage or even make you fail at any given task. No, I’m not an optimist nor am I a pessimist. I’m someone whom evaulates situations to he best of my abilities to try to get to a logical conclusion. I guess I’m what some call a realist.

OK, that’s my thought of the day, I thought that I’d share it with you. Thanks for reading. 🙂

The enemy of my enemy…


The enemy of my enemy is my friend.  That’s an old quote that still holds true today.  One whom hold the bond of the same objective have a higher chance of success than an alliance that is together for convenience or for other reasons.  Over history this has proved true time and time again.  It even holds true today… Just look at current events.  Iran and Iraq have formed an uneasy alliance with the Syrians in the fight against Isis, and all of them of course it looking to the United States for help.  While I feel that this isn’t our battle and we’re sending Americans to battle for something that really isn’t our business, that’s for another post (I know that President Obama will send help).  As always, America takes the blame because now they’re saying that we’re taking too long to respond.  Sheesh.  Those ingrates.

Anyhow, that’s my thought of the day.  Thanks for reading! 😀



Manners…  Like common sense, it seems like its not very common at all.  But manners is something that everyone hides behind.  Something that keeps them from telling the whole truth to people.  If it’s something that I’ve learned over the many years of my life is that it is in human nature to be selfish and cruel.  It’s this thing that we call manners that stops us from showing the rest of the world how humanity really is.

Why do I say that?  Quite simple really.  When someone that you don’t like comes up to you and speaks to you, you don’t tell them what you really think, right?  It’s not only out of respect, but it’s also manners.  I feel that manners is apart of respect.  As an “evolved” society, we are taught that manners is important, but we also hide our true nature behind it as well.  As I’ve said in a previous post, “Its in our nature”  Yes, we are all forced to be “two-faced” as some would put it.  We can’t very well tell everyone that we meet up with what we truly think about them, now can we?  I mean we’ve seen what happens when that “reflex” is shut off.  Look at the movie Liar Liar starring Jim Carrey, while rather funny it’s true.

I know that I make humanity sound like uncaring beings.  I feel that it’s our “moral compass” or our sense of right and wrong that stops us from taking that step from uncaring to monstrous.  But, like any other species out there, we’re not perfect beings.  I feel that this is one of the things stopping our species from evolving further.  I feel that as the youngest species on the Earth, we’ve come a long way in the time of our existence.  I feel that we shouldn’t be in a rush to evolve further, but learn from this existence, and become greater beings from it.

This is my thoughts on this subject, and I present it to you for you to make your own minds up about.  Thanks for reading, and will catch you on the flip side. 🙂

Are you sure?


“Are you sure?” That’s another thing that people ask me that annoys the heck out of me.  As soon as I answer the question someone asks me if I’m sure or not.  I usually say, “Yeah”.  But what I really want to say is, “Are you deaf, or do you just not understand what I said?”  As if it wasn’t enough that my computer and my phone is always asking me if I’m sure, people decide to put an “Are you sure” dialog confirmation box on reality.  I don’t make answers without thinking about it first if not just a little.  Once, someone asked me if I wanted cream in my coffee, I said yes.  And the person responded, “Are you sure?”  I thought to myself, “Oh my god! Is he serious?” Of course minding my manners, I just nodded.  Manners, that’s something that I’ll cover in a different post.

Could you just imagine that if every time you made a decision in life, time froze for you and an are you sure dialog box pops up in front of your face with a yes or no button to push before things would continue?  Football wouldn’t be as action packed.  Alex Smith is going to pass the ball and then, “Are you sure?” (LOL). That would be too much.  OK, rant done.

I thank my small but growing audience of readers for taking time to read my rants and thoughts. 🙂

It’s in our nature…

it's in your nature

I remember in one of the Terminator movies the Terminator (the T100, pictured above) had told young John Connor that it was in our nature to destroy ourselves.  I’ve never forgotten that quote because at the time even though I was young when I saw the movie in the theater, I thought to myself, “That is so true”.  For me to realize that at such an early age is quite depressing.

If one really thinks about it, it is true.  All the wars, the mass destruction and killing over the centuries because of ideals, beliefs, and sometimes just plain greed.  The Romans were guilty of the latter.  Wars over ideals and beliefs, well, look at recent history.  WWI and WWII were all because of beliefs.  The Revolutionary War as well.  The sad thing is that we don’t stop at destroying just ourselves.  We also destroy the things around us (us meaning humanity).

We almost killed off all the whales in the ocean, we destroy our environment by creating pollution on a mass scale.  We cut down the trees that make our oxygen.  So yes, I do believe that it is in our nature as a species to destroy ourselves and things around us.  It doesn’t matter if we intend to or not, if it’s out of ignorance or not, or even necessity.  It’s plain fact.  It saddens me at times to see these things happen around, me, but there’s nothing that I could do that would make a difference.  There are people already out there lobbying to “save the planet” without much success, I may add.

In the end, the planet will triumph, though.  Humanity won’t be here forever, how many times has mother nature (or god if that’s what you believe) have started over?  If I’m correct, we’re the second attempt.  The first attempt was the dinosaurs, but they were all wiped out after millions of years by a comet.  Yup, the greater powers decided to start over again, but the planet remained.  So, I believe that mother earth will triumph over us in one way or another, and that if its in our nature or not to destroy ourselves time will move on.  No one lives forever.  Or as Riddick said in The Assault on The Dark Athena game: “No one wants to die, but everyone gets to”

This is my perspective on this subject, and I leave it to my readers to make up their own minds about this subject.  Thanks for reading! 🙂

Are You OK?

Are you okay

It annoys me when someone asks me if I’m OK after I’ve fallen and hurt myself, bumped my head on something, etc.  It makes me want to say, “I’ve scraped my knee, do I look OK to you?”  Now, why do people ask you if you’re OK after you’ve visibly hurt yourself?  I’ve thought about it on and off for years, and this ponder has gotten me no where.  Perhaps they’re wondering if you need medical attention?  If that’s the case, why don’t they just ask directly?  Then there are those whom see that you’re grieving about something.  A broken heart, a loss of a loved one, and even if they know that you aren’t OK, they ask anyway, “Are you OK?”  I don’t know about you, but that’s enough to make me want to scream.

Why can’t people just come out and say what they mean?  Honestly, I don’t know…  Perhaps society in general has degraded to the point where we can’t express ourselves without fear of making fools of ourselves?  Perhaps.  I guess it’s something that I’ll never know.